One Year

                I have had so many mixed emotions as this year mark has gotten closer. At times it has flown by and at others it seems like it was ages ago. I remember so many details from the night of the accident. It still makes my heart race when I think of that night. Uncertainty, fear, and panic were the primary emotions and I can still feel the way I did when it happened. Although it is still so painful-I literally still get emotional about it every day-it has gotten better. I can only really speak to my own experience, but I wanted to share some of the lessons I have learned. I am not quite to the point of being thankful for this trial, but I am grateful for the things I have learned.

                Pretty quickly after the accident we began noticing so many miracles. I truly know that miracles happen. There are so many things I could list considering the entire last year. From major things-Sam survived the accident and her spinal cord was not severed-to smaller things-opening to the perfect scripture for the moment- we have seen the Lord’s hand over and over. Although He allows hard things to happen, He is there to help us through it. I am so thankful for the miracles I have been witness to this past year in Sam’s behalf.

                My testimony and faith in the power of prayer has increased significantly this year. The first day after Sam’s surgery was one of the hardest. I wanted to be supportive for my family, but I was so emotional. I prayed for strength. I felt the power of other’s prayers in my behalf and received strength far above my own. Many times I physically felt prayers. My mom and I discussed that we felt like a warm blanket was constantly around us. I know it was the prayers of others we were feeling. When I started the blog I would ask for specific prayers to be said. Within a day we would see those prayers being answered. Thank you so much for praying for Sam and our family. They have helped far more than you know. Again, I have learned if we will just ask, He will help us.

                I have always believed that we are given trials we can handle, but I didn’t think too deeply about it. I have learned that if we are willing to try He will make up the difference and help us through it. This has not been easy on anyone in my family, especially Sam. But, we are able to continue on because of the constant help of Heavenly Father. I know that if we go through a trial we will not be left alone. We will be given the resources we need to make it through.

                I have also learned that it is possible to find happiness during a trial. I was so thankful for my boys at the beginning. They are so innocent and happy and they truly gave us moments of happiness during the difficult days of the ICU. My mom told me that she read somewhere that, “Happy people are happy regardless of the circumstances.” I am thankful that we are naturally positive people. Although it can be awful, we have been blessed with many happy moments. My mom has commented to me that because we have felt the depths of pain and sadness our moments of joy are even sweeter. This is so true. The smallest improvements in Sam’s condition make me feel so happy and thankful.

                One of the greatest blessings of this trial has been the loving support of friends and family. We have been so overwhelmed with the kindness we have been shown. People say that you learn who your real friends are when times get tough. We have so many amazing friends! We have been so blessed. So many of you have helped in countless ways. At the beginning there was Zumba Night, the Fun Run, remodeling the house and the ramp, the meals, money, and visits, and so much more. And you continue to keep giving. Almost daily we are blessed by someone’s kindness. We cannot thank you enough.

                I am so grateful for Sam’s friends. I don’t know if they know how much I love and appreciate them. They have been here every step of the way. They make Sam feel loved and included. I worried that they would stop coming over, but they never have. When Sam is having a bad day, it just takes a visit from her friends to turn the day around. I just want them to know I will love them forever for being by Sam’s side this last year.

                I am so thankful for Sam’s progress. One year ago we were told she wouldn’t have use of her hands or legs, and minimal use of her arms. She couldn’t scratch her nose or hold a card. Today she can use her arms. Her right hand is almost normal function and her left hand continues to improve. She is regaining sensation in her legs and hopefully movement will come soon. She gets stronger each day and is able to do more each day. Although progress with a spinal cord injury is slow, we are grateful she continues to improve.

                I am so thankful for Neuroworx. They have the most amazing group of therapists. They are making the difference in Sam’s life. They truly care for her and are doing all they can to help her succeed. She loves therapy-her best days are spent there. They are truly giving Sam her life back.

                Finally, I have learned that Sam and my parents are the strongest people I know. My parents have sacrificed so much and work so hard to give Sam the best care they can. I know it is so hard for them to see Sam go through this. But, they stay positive and hopeful. My dad is working two jobs so Sam can have the therapy and care she needs. He never complains. My mom quit her job and takes care of Sam full time. She goes without sleep and does everything possible to help Sam heal. In the face of tragedy they have shown their true colors and they are truly the best of the best.

                I am so proud to be Sam’s older sister. It is so hard for me to watch her go through this. But, she is so amazing. I know she has bad days, but she fights to have good ones. She works so hard at therapy. She has improved so much and continues to make progress. She is so selfless. She worries more about her friends at therapy than herself. She always wants to help others. Sam is very private and does not always like to share her feelings. But, earlier this year she spoke at my wards New Beginnings for young women. She blew me away. She has a testimony. She is not only physically and emotionally strong, but spiritually as well. I hate that she has to go through this, but I am so proud of the way she endures.

                This year has been trying, but I am thankful for the things I have learned. I am excited to see what the next year brings for Sam. Thank you all so much for your loving support and concern. It is truly appreciated.